


Akatsuki Fanfics

by koala_bear28



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anniversary, Crying, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Lack of Communication, Love, Massage, Money, forgetful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-10-22 00:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10686486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koala_bear28/pseuds/koala_bear28





	1. When You First Met

**Pein**

"Such sad beneficial."

You stare at the sea as whirlpools form. You know you shouldn't be there, but you couldn't help but look. As you continue to look, you hear bushes rustle behind you and look back to see a orange haired male coming out them.

"Do you believe in peace? If you don't know, I am God."

You stare at the male's cloak and scoff. You turn back to the sea as the whirlpools closed.

"Yeah. I just don't believe you're God. Would you mind going away?"

"Yes, but one day you will know pain."

You stare back at the male as he goes back in the bushes.

"Weirdo."

* * *

**Deidara**

"Get on!"

You back up until your back hits a tree. One minute you were in your village, picking vegetables and watching the little kids play, next, you were being tormented to get on a bird by a destructive man that wanted to marry you. You jerk your body away as the man tries to touch you.

"G-get away from me!"

"Get on the damn bird! I'm not going to leave you here, hmm."

"I don't even know you! How could I possibly-Ah!"

Your voice was cut off by a scream as an explosion close to the tree went off. The man grabs you by the waist and lifts you on the bird. He wipes your tears away as the bird soars in the air.

"Are you okay [Y/N], hmm?"

"Yeah. Wait! How did you know my name?"

"I've been obessed with you for a while. I've watched you ever since, hmm. Besides, I think I want to marry you."

You look into the man's eyes as he kisses you on the lips. He pulls you close to him and smiles.

"Don't worry [Y/N]. I promise I won't let anyone or anything hurt you, hmm."

You just silently nod your head as you lean into the man's arms and smile.

* * *

**Sasori**

You stare at the horrific sight in front of you. The corpses of people and puppets laid everywhere. Along the way, you walk over to your parents' corpse and sigh. As you continue to look at the corpses, you feel a presence near you and look back to see a puppet holding out a cloth to you. Unlike this puppet, it had the  head of a man.You grab the cloth and wipe the blood away from your face and arms.

"Are you a puppet or human?"

"Both."

You stare at the puppet man uncomfortably in silence. After a while, you turn on your heel and walk into the dark forest.

* * *

**Tobi/Obito**

"So you're Obito Uchiha?"

You stare at the masked man in front of you in awe. You would think, after being crushed by a boulder, he would be dead. Obito touches your face with cold hands and pulls you closer to him.

"I have a position for you [Y/N]."

"What is it?"

"Come with me. Both of us hate Kakashi and you want to get revenge on him for the things he did to you. Killing you more than once and breaking your heart."

You sigh as you thought about Kakashi. He did break your heart and not only that, he killed you many times and Orochimaru reanimated you every time. Before you can give an answer, Obito lifts you over his shoulder and walk towards a boulder. He leans you against the boulder and slips a ring on your finger before taking off his mask.

"And this is for?"

"It's not out of love you baka. I got this so you'll know you work for me now. You can get revenge better."

"In the Akatsuki and working with something else. A two-timer? I like it."

"Of course you do."

You grin as Obito bites your neck. Obito brushes your hair out of your face before walking away into the dark. You stare at the ring and kiss it affectionately.

* * *

**Hidan**

 You lick the onigiri in your hand and bite into it. Your stepbrother grins at you before pulling you to him and kissing you on the lips. You knew it was wrong, but your stepbrother threatened to tell your stepmother that you stole her money even though you didn't. When he backs away from you, you continue to eat the onigiri.

"You know [Y/N]...you're boring. Ever time I kiss you or make you give me a hand job and blow job, you don't even try to act like you're interested."

You silently shrug your shoulders and look over at the dark trees. Your stepbrother grabs your arm and pull you onto his lap. He begins to loose your kimono and run his hands over your exposed chest. You don't do anything but sigh. As you continue to focus on the dark trees, you see a man come out with a scythe. The man looks at you and your stepbrother and walks over.

"Hey you...Let the pretty girl go."

"Who do you think you are? I don't have to listen to you!"

You elbow your stepbrother in the stomach and crawl over to the man and hide behind him. Your stepbrother holds onto his stomach before getting up and walking to where you and the man were. Before you can react, your stepbrother grabs your arms and begin to pull you back to the house.

"Com on [Y/N]! We're going back inside."

"No! I don't want to! Let me go! I don't want to go back with you! You perverted asshole!"

"Damn it! Get in here!"

You punch your stepbrother in his arm, but he doesn't let go. As you close your eyes and begin to cry, you hear an agonizing cry and something splash over your face. When you open your eyes, you see your stepbrother's lifeless corpse. You cover your mouth with your hand and stand up. You feel the man's hand on your back as he liftsyou in his arms.

"[Y/N], right? Sorry you have to see this. From the way it looks, your stepparents hate you and if they see this, you'll be the first the blame so I'm taking you back with me."

"Please...These people...they don't even care about my presence! I don't ever want to come back."

"Okay. Okay."

The man holds you in his arms as he walk back into the trees. You hold onto the man's sleeve and look back at your ungrateful home. It makes you smile a bit as you kiss the man's cheek. He looks down at you and see the wide smile on your face.

* * *

**Kakuzu**

You look at the few bits of money on the ground. You were inside your house, minding your own business when you heard a lot of noise outside. When you came out, you didn't see anyone but the money. As you look around, you notice a figure walking towards you with a suitcase. The figure reveals to be a man and he gets on the ground and pick up the leftover money. He looks up at you and groans.

"Did you take any of this money?"

"No. I'm just co-"

"Good."

The man continues crawling on the ground until he picks up all the money. He looks around for more money. When he doesn't see any, the man walks away from you and you sigh loudly.

"I wonder if he carries that suitcase with him. Not my business."

* * *

**Itachi**

You stare up at the sky as you lay on the ground, sucking a cherry lollipop. As you continue to stare at the sky, a man's face appears in front of yours. You stare at the man for a while before sitting up and sighing. The man looks at you with earnest eyes.

"Who the hell are you? Can't you see I'm trying to find my inner peace?"

The man holds a rose in his hand and he hands it to you. You look at the rose in your hand and sigh. As the man looks at you, you get off the ground and throw the rose in his face. You begin to walk away until you hear the man sigh somewhat sadly. Before you can stop yourself, you take the rose from the man and sit beside him.

"Listen...I'm sorry about that. To make it up to you, I'll do anything you want. Nothing  _too_ physical."

"But it still can be physical?"

"As long as it doesn't include sex. You ge-"

You cut your sentence off short as the man cups your face in his hands and kiss you on the lips. You blush deeply when the man pulls away from you and pokes your forehead.

"Bye [Y/N]. I'll see you around."

The man gets off the ground and walks away. You touch your lips and blush as you stare at the rose. You pull your hair in a ponytail and tie the rose stem in your hair.

"Whoever he is, I love him."

* * *

**Kisame**

"Come on [Y/N]~san! Get your fat ass over here!"

"I'm not fat!"

You cover your chest as you stand from behind a tree. Your friends decided to go to the river to cool off on the hot day. You step into the water and sigh as your friend pulls you deeper into the water.

"Is this okay? What if someone's peeping at us?"

"It's fine. Stop worrying about everything."

"I'm not worrying. I'm just cautious."

Your friend rolls her eyes as she pulls you near your other friends. You and your friendsplay in the water for an hour until the sun was high in the sky.

"[Y/N], can you get our towels?"

"Sure."

You step out the water and walk towards the tree where your towels were. As you reach for the towels, a man stares at you. You cover your body with a towel and blush. The man shakes his head and walks away.

"I'm never coming back here."

* * *

**Zetsu**

You look at the plant in front of you. It was odd seeing how it wasn't time for it to bloom. You sigh before grabbing gardening clippers and cut piece of the plant.

_"That hurts."_

**"Watch it! We're a delicacy."**

"Oh my gosh!"

As the plant begin to talk, you fall backwards. The plant comes out the ground and reveal to be a man. You get off the ground and brush yourself off. The man looks at you and sighs.

_"I think you should apologize."_

"For what?"

**"Cutting us, you dumb bitch!"**

You narrow your eyes at the man and feel and sudden sense of loather. Brushing it aside, you smile and give a half-hearted apology.

"I'm truly sorry for cutting you. It was wrong of me."

**"Bitch! Do you think I'm going to fucking believe that's an apology?!"**

"Okay! That's it!"

You grab the gardening clippers and cut the man's plant-like figure all away. The man looks at you and curses loudly.

_"This will take ages to grow back. I wish you would keep your mouth shut more often."_

**"Why you fucking pussy! I'm going to slice you open!"**

"Like to see you try."

You stride from the cheerfully as you swung the gardening clippers in your hand.


	2. When You Can't Sleep

**Pein**

You sigh as you see the flickering of a light. After sleeping with Pein for weeks, it was the first time you couldn't sleep. You roll on your side and see Pein sitting at his desk, working.

"Pein...You work too much."

"Go back to sleep, [Y/N]. Can't you see I'm working?"

You sigh and crawl out the bed. You wrap arms around Pein's shoulders and kiss his ear. Pein sighs before turning towards you and pulling you in his arms.

"What's the matter, [Y/N]?"

"I can't sleep. Will you come to bed?"

You look at Pein with puppy eyes. Pein sighs as he lifts you in his arms and take you back to the bed. He lays beside you and pinches your thighs playfully.

"I love you Pein."

"I..."

"Come on. Say it. I bet you would've quickly say it to Konan."

"N-No I wouldn't. Stop pouting like that. It makes you look like a sexy whore."

"Yeah, but I'm your sexy whore."

"Yes. Tonight you are going to know pain."

"Whatever you say Nagato."

Pein pulls you under the covers with him. He kisses you gently and you know that neither of you were sleeping tonight.

* * *

**Deidara**

"Pein! Ah~"

You cover your ears as you heard noises coming from Pein's and Konan's room. As much as you tried, the sounds just traveled easily through the walls and kept the whole hideout awake. Deidara sighs as he wraps his arms around you and squeeze your breasts through your shirt.

"Stop worrying about them, [Y/N]. You're making it hard for me to enjoy you, hmm."

"Forget about enjoying me. I can't sleep through this."

"I have an idea, hmm. Take off your clothes."

"Huh? This better work, Deidara."

You obey Deidara and take off your clothes before throwing them on the floor. Deidara grabs some clay and makes a little bomb - small enough to fit in a pocket, big enough to make an explosion. Deidara then looks at you and points a thumb up.

"Ass up, hmm."

"Okay. I don't see the who-"

You stop talking when you feel Deidara's tongue lick your southern region. Deidara holds onto both of your thighs as he hears you moan.

"How...is this...going to..help?"

You look back to see the bomb in Deidara's hand, clearly forgetting about what he was doing besides licking you into sensation. You kick Deidara in his stomach and he throws the bomb on the floor away from the bed. Deidara puts up two fingers then bomb explodes. The room fills with smoke but Deidara simply continues to enjoy you. You moan again, this time releasing your juices. The noises from Pein's and Konan's room stop and you hear your room door open.

"Deidara! What wa-"

You and Deidara look towards the door to see Pein standing there, completely shocked. Pein focuses his attention more on your exposed body than anything else. Deidara sits up and pulls you into his arms.

"[Y/N] couldn't sleep and I needed a way to get your attention. Can you keep it down with the noises for everyone?"

"...Sure."

Pein walks out the room and closes the door. You stare at Deidara and lay in the bed. Deidara lays on top of you and kisses your cheek.

"Ready to sleep?"

"Hell yeah."

* * *

**Sasori**

After you showed him, Sasori loved your ass to death. The only real thing was his head and his lips sent you into overdrive. Not tonight though. Tonight, you were sleeping peacefully until Sasori decided to make a puppet. The noise wasn't much of a problem, the problem was you didn't had anything next to you to bring comfort since the covers were too soft. You look over at Sasori and sigh.

"Sassy...I can't sleep."

"Drink some warm milk."

"Why don't you kiss me to sleep?"

"No. Stop distracti-"

"But I'm sleepy."

When Sasori looks back at you, he sees you rolling in his bed with the sexy underwear he and Deidara likes to steal from your drawers. Sasori shakes his head and turn back to his puppet. Displeased, you throw a pillow at Sasori and pout.

"Sassy, can you at least try to put me to sleep? You never pay any attention to me."

"Maybe I don't want to. You're a little lesbo at times with Konan and I just naturally tune you out now."

"Lesbo?! I'll prove to you I'm not a lesbian. Dei!"

You walk out the room and walk into Deidara's room. You stay in there for thirty minutes and can tell Sasori got anxious because he walks into the room and sees Deidara putting a blindfold over your eyes.

"Sasori, my man. Aren't you supposed to be working on a puppet or something, hmm?"

"What are you doing, Deidara?"

"[Y/N] promised she'd give me something she can't give you, hmm."

"And that would be..."

"Her virginity. Are you ready [Y/N], hmm?"

"Oh no you don't."

Sasori grabs your hand and pulls you off Deidara's bed. He pulls the blindfold off your eyes as he lays in the bed beside you. You blush as Sasori lays your head on his wooden chest.

"Don't ever do that again. I don't care how many times I call you a lesbian, please don't try to prove that you're not."

"I'm sorry, Sassy. It's just that Dei pays more attention to my needs and wants than you do. I had to give him something for it."

"Just don't do it again. You had me worried and I promise I won't let Deidara pay attention to you more. Now go to sleep and I love you."

You blush as Sasori kisses your forehead and holds you close to him.

* * *

**Tobi**

"Obito!"

You singsong Obito's name as you roll in his bed. While he was childish at times, Obito was very serious at the moment and paid no heed to you. You pout playfully and pull off Obito's mask.

"Notice me, Obito-kun."

"I always notice you, and you are aggravating as hell. Fuck off, [Y/N]."

You sigh then smirk as you get on your knees and rub Obito's clothed crotch. He looks at you with his Sharingan and smacks your hand away. You lick Obito's bare chest until you find your hands against the wall with your ass pressed against Obito's harden crotch.

"You're pissing me off [Y/N] and now my dick is hard because of you. You have to do something about it, you damn harlot."

Obito's voice growls in your ear before smacking your ass. You moan from the painful sensation and jerk your hips into Obito's.

"Damn you."

"Stick it in me Tobi."

"Stick what in you and who?"

You blush as Obito backs away from you and goes back to looking at a couple of papers. While you were planning to sleep beside Obito, you decided a quick night's fuck wouldn't hurt. You walk over to Obito while pulling your shirt up over your panties. You pull your panties down and open your legs, revealing how wet you are from Obito's act. Obito looks at you with amusement as he fingers you while you try to speak through moans.

"Stick y-"

"I can't hear you, thirsty bitch."

"Stick your fat dick in me, Daddy."

"With pleasure."

Obito licks your wet entrance and lays you in the bed aggressively. You smirk and pull your shirt over your head.

"After this, you have to promise you'll be Tobi and do whatever I want."

"Okay, [Y/N]-senpai!"

"You little player."

* * *

**Hidan**

"This little bitch went to a strip club, this little bitch stayed home and suck dick. This little bitch was a prostitute, and this little bitch was gay. And my little bitch went 'Ah! Hidan!' all night long. Did you like my story [Y/N]?"

"It was acceptable. Oh, but I'm not going to go 'Ah! Hidan!' all night long."

You and Hidan laugh as he tells you a story so you could to sleep. Hidan was vulgar all the time, but he was sweet when you were around. It always made you happy how Hidan showed his love for you in weird ways. As far as the story goes, it only kept you awake more. You lean against Hidan's chest and pull his nipple.

"Will you always love me Hidan?"

"Of course because you are my teddy bear and I'll hug and love you every single time. Wait! Listen to this [Y/N]."

"Yes Hidan?"

Hidan stifles back a laugh as he tries to talk. You look up at him and pinch his nipple. Hidan jerks a bit and wraps his arms around you.

"Do you know why they call me the cat whisperer?"

"No. Why?"

"Because I know just what to whisper to fuck you right in the pussy."

You blush while laughing as Hidan whispers in your ear. As long as Hidan loved you, you knew you weren't sleeping at all in the night.

* * *

**Kakuzu**

 "There. Your life time supply of kimonos, jewelry, perfume, and hair pins."

"Thank you babe! I can sleep peacefully now."

"I have to count my money."

Kakuzu sits with his suitcase and pulls his money out. He begins to count it over and over again, clearly ignoring you. You look over Kakuzu's shoulders and poke his chest.

"Kakuzu, I'm not sleepy but I want to sleep."

"Sleeping pills are expensive. Go count some sheep."

"Okay!"

You walk out the room while pulling on a coat. After an hour, Kakuzu realize you haven't come back and walks out the hideout and looks for a pasture. When he finds one full of sheep, Kakuzu sees you laying on a wooden fence, sleeping peacefully. A smile creeps on his face as he lifts you in his arms and takes you back to the hideout.

"You're such a serious person. I can't tell you anything jokingly anymore."

"I...love you...Kaku...zu."

Kakuzu looks down to see a faint smile on your face as you talk in your sleep.

* * *

**Itachi**

You cling onto Itachi's shirt as he holds you over the Akatsuki hideout roof. It wasn't like he was trying to kill you; it was actually the fact you couldn't sleep and fear was really the only thing that worked. You sigh as Itachi pulls you back on the roof and head inside.

"I'm sorry Itachi. I shouldn't be bothering you like this."

"It's fine. I was about to eat some ice cream anyways."

Itachi says this while heading to his hidden stash of ice cream in the freezer. You lean against the counter and sigh. Itachi holds a tub of ice cream in his arms and begins to head back to his room.

"If you can't sleep...Eat some ice cream or drink some warm milk. You could try counting sheep, or count the amount of days you've been away from your brother. Sasuke is very im-"

"Yeah. I don't care, Itachi. How about I finger myself until I hit sensation so bad it drains my energy."

"I wonder who you're going to get to help you accomplish that. Why are you looking at my pants like that? [Y/N], stop it. Everybody's sleeping and my dick is, too. You're making me talk way more than usual. Fine."

Itachi lifts you in his arms, placing his ice cream back in the freezer. He carries you back to his room and drops you on his bed. When he does, you quickly go to sleep.

* * *

**Kisame**

"Ack! Water! Stop it Kisame!"

Kisame pours a bucket of water on you, causing you to wake up. Sleep was the first thing you wanted, but it was the last thing Kisame wanted. You roll on your side and see Kisame staring at you.

"What is it?"

"Sorry. I tripped and the water fell on you. Do you want me to get some warm milk so you can go back to sleep?"

"No. What were ya doin' with a bucket of water anyway?"

Kisame looks away as you ask your question. You narrow your eyes and hold yourself up on your arm. Kisame looks back at you and sighs.

"I was going to bring a little fish in here so you won't be lonely when I'm gone on missions."

"Really Kisame? You're becomin' surprisingly sweet and I thank ya for that."

You kiss Kisame on his cheeks and he blushes. He gets back in bed and hold you in his arms until you fall asleep.

* * *

 

**Zetsu**

**"I have more abs!"**

_"No. I do."_

You sigh as Black Zetsu argue with White Zetsu over who has more abs. It wasn't helping you any since they were keeping you awake. You turn on your side and knock Zetsu in his chest.

"Shut up! Both of you have the same body so what's the difference?!"

_"That really hurts."_

**"Woman! You're lucky I have the nerve to fuck you!"**

"Shush it, Zetsu! You're lucky I _don't have_  the nerve to cut your venus flytrap again."

_"Please don't. It took a while to grow it back."_

**"Try me bitch!"**

White Zetsu sighs as you and Black Zetsu argue. You cover your ears in a childish way as Black Zetsu yells at you.

"La la la! I'm not listening!"

**"Goddamn it, woman! I'm going to fucking shoot your pussy off!"**

_"Why don't you just stick your penis in her? It'll save all of us the trouble."_

 You and Black Zetsu suddenly get quiet at White Zetsu's comment. You turn on your side and rest your head on Zetsu's chest. Black Zetsu grunts before wrapping his arm around you.

"I love you."

**"Shut up. I'm going to get you and White Zetsu back for this."**

 "You know you still love me though."

_"And me."_


	3. When You Forget

**Pein**

"There you go [Y/N]~chan!"

"Thank you Tobi."

After you received a box of plates, you decided to decorate your room with them. Tobi helped and you were done in no time. As you look at the plates, Tobi pokes your side.

"Do you think he will like these?"

"He? Who's he?"

"[Y/N]~chan! Don't tell me you forget about him?"

"Who the hell is he?!"

As you try to ask Tobi who 'he' is, Pein walks in your room and nods approvingly at the plates. You sigh as Tobi continues to yell at the top of his childish voice.

"I told you Leader~sama would like them!"

"You didn't say Pein! You kept saying 'he'!"

"Leader~sama is he! How can you forget about your own boyfriend?"

"Oh."

You look over at Pein and watch as he hangs his head. You lift Pein's face in your hands and kiss his forehead.

"I'm sorry baby. You still love me, right?"

* * *

**Deidara**

As you walk outside, you see Deidara laying on the ground shirtless with his bombs surrounding him. You sigh and kick Deidara awake.

"Get up Deidei! Itachi won't leave me alone. He said the only way he'll stop is if I have sex with him and I don't want to."

Deidara quickly sits up and looks at you. He pulls you on the ground with him and checks your arms, legs, and chest. Sighing, he gets off the ground and brush himself off.

"Okay. You're clear. What do you want?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering why were you on the ground."

"I was waiting for you. You promised you would've help me with my bombs for my next mission."

"I didn't promise you anything."

"Yes you did [Y/N]. You said so last night when we were-"

"That's too much detail."

You place your hand over Deidara's mouth. Yeah. You promised Sasori that you were going to help make a scary puppet, and you did promise Konan you would help her with her makeup. Yet, you don't remember promising Deidara anything besides the fact that you would massage his shoulders every time Kisame and Hidan stressed him, but you made that promise months ago. Deidara pats your thighs as you stare thoughtfully in the clouds.

"Stop fretting about it and help me, will you? Bombs don't make themselves."

"When you come up with a better lie then maybe I'll help. As for now, Sasori and Konan need my help more than your worthless bombs do. Love you."

You skip off, back into the hideout. Deidara sighs as he follows behind you.

* * *

**Sasori**

 You begin to pick up the broken shards of glass and a broken puppet. Even when he asked and told you,  you decided to disobey Sasori and play with his puppet. When Deidara and Itachi surprised you, you lost focus and the puppet hit a glass vase. As you pick up another broken shard, it seeps into your finger and blood draws from it. You stare at your finger and begin to bring it to your lips before someone else does. When you look, you see Sasori sucking the blood from your finger.

"I'm sorry Sassy. I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine [Y/N]. Today's a special day so I'll forgive you."

Sasori smiles as he hands you a bouquet of poppies and roses. You rack your brain thinking of what the special day was. When you can't figure it out, you give Sasori a confuse expression.

"What special day Sassy?"

"Forget I even gave you these or even talked to you. It's our anniversary and you forget. Remember, I didn't forgive you for breaking my puppet."

"Wait...Sassy! I didn't mean to forget."

Sasori leaves your side and walks out the living room, taking the bouquet of flowers with him. The once, loveable smile already leaving his face.

* * *

**Tobi**

"[Y/N]~chan! Guess what today is?"

You look up from your book and see an overexcited Obito...or was an overexcited Obito. Now he's just being Tobi. You roll your eyes and focus your attention back on your book, paying no heed to Obito's childish game.

"No. It's a fucking Wednesday Tobi. Just a Wednesday."

"[Y/N]~chan! Why are you mad at Tobi? Last night, you were happy with Obito inside you. So why don't you love Tobi? And you forgot about today. Tobi's going to cry."

"Tobi can suck a dick if all I care."

You smirk to yourself as Obito makes fake crying noises. You haven't realize he stopped until you feel an impact to your arm. Not a weak Tobi punch, but a strong, demanding Obito punch. You hold onto your forearm as Obito pulls his mask off. A evil, yet defeated grin covers his face.

"[Y/N]! You forgot about my birthday...Again! You do it every year, but when your birthday comes, I'm always buying stuff and taking you places. Tobi and I hate it."

"Well boo hoo for you. I didn't forget. I just didn't know when it was."

"You could've fucking ask! Damn woman. I hate you."

"Hate is a strong word. Oh well. I can go a day without your bitchy moods."

* * *

**Hidan**

"Scythe?! Where are you?! Have you seen my scythe, babe?!"

"Nope."

You continue braiding Itachi's hair as Hidan searches for his scythe in the living room. As you finish another braid, Hidan lifts up the cushion on the couch. Itachi sighs as he looks away from his book.

"What are you looking for? Can't you do your stupid ritual somewhere else?"

"Shut up, you Uchiha dick! You're lucky [Y/N] likes you or I would've killed you. Were you the one that stole my scythe?!"

"I have heard you say that these past months and no. Your stupid stick means nothing to me. [Y/N] was playing with it this morning."

You part Itachi's hair and sigh as you look at Hidan. His face was filled with panic and you knew it was because you forgotten where you placed Hidan's scythe. As you make another braid in Itachi's hair, Hidan pokes your hips.

"Where did you place it, babe? I can't continue my rituals for Jashin without it."

"I don't know Hidan. You'll find sooner or later. Maybe it'll poke somebody like you're poking me."

As soon as you say it, Deidara's scream fills the hideout. You freeze up as Deidara throws Hidan's scythe on the floor as he walks in the living room. Itachi facepalms as you turn your back towards the three men.

"What the hell is your-"

"You fucking blonde bitch! I knew you stole my scythe!"

"What are you talking about?! It was in my bed!"

"So you stole [Y/N] when she had my scythe and placed her in your bed! I'm going to kill you!"

"The hell are you going about?! [Y/N] had it, but how it ended up in my bed is a different story."

"It doesn't matter. I have rituals to continue. Bye!"

Hidan quickly leaves the hideout, searching for his next sacrificial victim.

* * *

**Kakuzu**

You count Kakuzu's money before throwing a dead body in front of the bounty collector. Kakuzu was sick and you decided to make him feel better by doing some bounty hunting for him. You already made fifty hundred million ryo, four times more than Kakuzu usual made. Smiling to yourself, you grab the case of money and leave the secret room. You hurry back to the hideout and slam the case of money in front of Kakuzu as Konan brings him some soup.

"Who's the baddest bitch now?! I went all out just to get some ryo so you can get better babe."

"[Y/N]! Why would you?"

"Because you're sick and you need to get better."

"Did you forget how much it costs to pay for insurances and how bounty hunting season is already over?! Just look at yourself. And your arm was cut off! What am I going to do?"

"Oh yeah. That's a lot of money you're losing. Guess I did forget about it. I could go back bounty hunting but that would be more loss of money. Sorry. Do you feel any better?"

"No! Can you please make me some more soup Konan? I'm not going to recover from this sickness."

* * *

 **Itachi** "

' "I'm devastated. I miss Sasuke and I-"

"Shut up, you damed depressed Uchiha mushroom! And move you blonde bitch! I can't see the fucking TV! You aren't made of glass, damn it!"

You place all the groceries in the freezer and sigh. Itachi was so depressed, he laid on the chair and didn't bother when Hidan sat on him to watch TV.  As you close the freezer, you facepalm as Itachi calls your name.

"[Y/N]............Where's my-"

"Fuck it, 'Tachi. Don't you ever do anything but mope around like a pussy? Can't you ever be as vulgar like Hidan, a transvestite like Deidara, or have a sense of humor like Kakuzu, Sasori, and Kisame? You're starting to make me think if this relationship was even necessary."

"And it's comments like those that have been slowly turning me gay through this whole relationship."

"Are you trying to be funny 'cause I'll bust your ass up to the damn moon, fuck it!"

"Great. She's threatening me again. Prostitutes. Always in a bad mood when that dick wasn't good."

"That was real funny, Itachi. Now can you shut the hell up or I'll be the one to bust your ass up to the damn moon!"

Itachi sighs as Hidan yells at him. You grin and eat a strawberry. As you eat your third strawberry, the remote to the TV hits your head. You look at Hidan and see his attention focused on the TV.

"What was that for?"

"You lost your temper with Itachi."

"So what?"

"You forgotten you promised you would never lose your temper with him again because whenever you do, it makes me annoyed, and when I get annoyed, I get mad, and when I get mad, I lose my temper and then everybody's day is as fucked up before you lost your temper! The end.' Is this a good beginning for my report for Pein as to why the TV's broken?"

"You forgotten to add in the part where me and 'Tachi beaten your ass."

"And the part where I fucked [Y/N]."

"Shut up!"

"That dick wasn't good last night? You should suck me more often than random guys...Prostitute."

"That's it!"

You grab Hidan's scythe and bring it to Itachi's head. Before it touches his head, Hidan and Itachi grabs both of your hands. Hidan pats your head and takes the scythe from your hand.

"Temper, [Y/N], temper. Do you remember how the TV got broken?"

"Yeah, yeah. Leave me alone already."

* * *

**Kisame**

 "[Y/N]...What is this?"

"Konan's panties. I was doin' da laundry and I forgot ta give 'em ta her."

"You know what else you forgot?"

"To give ya food? Don't know, don't care."

"Look [Y/N]. Look at me."

Sighing, you look over at Kisame and see him holding a fish bowl with only water in it. You shrug your shoulders as you turn your attention back towards the video game you were playing. Kisame groans as he pours the water on top of you. You spit water out your mouth and wipe your eyes.

"What do ya want?"

"Don't you 'what do ya want' me! Do you know what goes in a fish bowl?"

"Da fish. I don't get it."

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"Ta feed da fish? Don't know. It died when ya went on a mission with dat icicled dickhead, Itachi."

"Oh Seven Swordsmen. [Y/N]...Can you speak more fluently than in that ignorant Kansai dialect you got? And stop calling Itachi an icicled dickhead."

"I can't help da fact I talk like dis. I also can't help da fact Itachi's dick stands up most da time. I accidentally bent ove' in front of him and he kept starin' from den."

"My dick does not! Stop saying things like that, [Y/N]."

You look from the game and see Itachi standing at the door. You smile before going back to your game.

"Itachi. Ya came back for more afta last night? Unfortunately, I ain't goin' anyplace until Kisame can fit in da fish bowl or somethin'. Can ya be a good icicled dickhead and get me somethin' ta eat?"

"What's with that weird dialect? Wait. Icicled dickhead?"

"She inherited that Kansai dialect from her parents and she just loves to call you an icicled dickhead."

"Yeah. Now get me somethin' ta eat!"

"Not until you get me another fish!"

You look up at Kisame and sigh. Pausing your game, you walk out the room while holding Itachi's hand.

"Yeah, yeah. Me and Itachi will get one. So you know, I don't have a Kansai dialect. I just like seeing you get mad about it."

"You're lucky you're my girlfriend, [Y/N]."

* * *

  **Zetsu**

_"I'm withering. [Y/N].....I'm withering."_

**"Help me! I'm losing my clothes!"**

"Oh my God!"

You look at Zetsu's figure, surprised at his withering state. It wasn't like the weather was cold or anything, and you made sure that the two of you weren't rough at night, although Black Zetsu never agreed. You push Zetsu outside and hold an umbrella over your body as the sun beats down.

"What happened to you? Did you eat someone that wasn't good?"

_"No. You-"_

"Did Hidan urinate on you again?"

**"No. You-"**

"Did Kisame and Kakuzu drained some of the seven tails bijuu, got drunk, and poured beer on you?"

_"No. Some-"_

"Don't tell me someone cut a very delicate piece of you and ate it?"

**"[Y/N]-"**

"Or maybe you drank bad water?"

After saying so much and cutting both White Zetsu and Black Zetsu off, White Zetsu smacks the umbrella out your hand and holds it over his body. You state confusingly at Zetsu as he sighs.

_"Goddamn it, woman! You made me photosynthesized too much, then you forgot to water me! I'm withering because of your stupid ass!"_

**"Don't be so rude to [Y/N]. She's been taking care of us ever since we started dating. It's only natural she'll forget to do something that'll benefit us. Don't forget. [Y/N] pushes herself to make sure our state is fine, but she's has a fever right now. Haven't you noticed how hot she is every night? And it's not because of sex."**

"Why are you two worrying about me? White Zetsu, you're acting like Black Zetsu, and Black Zetsu, you're acting like White Zetsu. It's we-Achoo!"

**"See. The bitch has finally revealed her sickness. Stop sneezing on me! Stop it! Now you're doing it on purpose!"**

"Like how I purposely forgot to water you. Achoo!"

_"That's cruel. Let's eat her!"_

"Aw damn. I totally deserve this. Get away! Wait a minute! You don't mean digest eating, you mean-Ew! Pervert!"


	4. When He Watches Porn

**Pein**

After going away for a mission, you notice Pein acting weird. He rarely spoke to you in bed or even touched you. It was kind of getting annoying, so you started investigating. From the results you gathered, Pein liked to check out both you and Konan on a daily basis. When it's just you and Pein in the living room of the hideout, you sit on Pein's lap and lean on his chest.

"Pein. What's wrong?"

"....."

Nothing but the shake of his head was Pein's answer. Sighing, you begin grinding Pein causing a groan from him. Satisfied, you continue to grind Pein until he grabs your arms and pinches you.

"Ow. That hurts Pein."

"My pain is far greater than yours."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a huge problem in my pants. I'm not usually this aroused, but on my mission, I-"

"Don't say anymore. I have to think about your punishment for watching porn and checking Konan out."

* * *

**Deidara**

"I need to make an explosion, hmm."

You stare curiously at Deidara as he lays on the bed the two of you shared. You don't really know what was wrong with him, but Deidara started saying weird things ever since he and Sasori went into a library for some 'research'. You hand Deidara some clay and grab a new batch for yourself.

"Here. Go outside with it and be careful."

"I want to bang so bad."

"That's why I gave you the clay, idiot. Now go if you want to make an explosion."

"You just don't get it, hmm. This has nothing to do with clay."

Deidara says this while turning on his side so he can face you. You examine his body and your eyes stop on a bulge in his pants. You pull off Deidara's pants and underwear and sigh. His member stands tall, proud to show off in front of you.

"What's that about?"

"My man, Sasori and I researched until we couldn't stop."

"You went to the library and watched porn, didn't you?"

"It was an accident, [Y/N]. I swear I would never watch porn unless you're the girl in it, hmm!"

"I'm not even sure you're worthy for me anymore. Let your explosion go while I'm not here!"

Deidara looks at you as you angrily walk out the room. Sighing, Deidara opens his fists and stare at his member.

"I haven't used my hands for anything but bombs. Now that [Y/N]'s not going to help, my hands will come in use."

* * *

**Sasori**

"Yes Sassy! Hit me right there! Ah! I love you so much!"

"I love you too [Y/N]. I just don't know how long it'll be until I cum inside you."

"It's okay Sassy! Fill my wet pussy with your cum! I think I'm reaching my limit-Ah! I'm cumming! Cum with me, Sassy!"

"Ngh! Your pussy is sucking me in. You feel so good."

You stare at Sasori as he plays with puppets that's suppose to be you and him having sex. It was kind of weird, especially since he mastered your voice at the right octave. He hasn't realize you're staring until you knock on the wall.

"Knock, knock. It felt good releasing your cum in me, didn't it?"

"[Y/N]! How much of that did you see?"

"All of it."

"How embarrassing. You weren't supposed to see that."

"Figures. What are you doing anyways?"

Sasori averts his gaze from you and stares at his puppets. You sit in his lap and stare at his blushing face. Sasori looks up at you, ready to tell you what is on his mind.

"[Y/N].....Did you know I can't get a boner?"

"Yeah and your point is...?"

"Do you know how many times I want to fuck you? It's hard to do that when I don't have a penis."

"Why don't you just make a wooden one? I don't mind getting a few scrapes inside."

"I can't. I don't want to hurt your delicate, smooth, wet pussy. It won't do me any good either if I can't cum inside you."

You stare at Sasori as he rests his head in your neck. Frowning, you pull Sasori up by his hair and stare at him directly in the eye.

"Where is this coming from all of a sudden? You never really cared whether you had a dick or not, so why now? What did Deidara tell you?"

"N-nothing. He hasn't said anything to me."

"Oh really? Deidara! Get your ass in here!"

You get off Sasori's lap and open the door, already sensing Deidara's presence walking past the door. Pulling Deidara in, you trap him between your arms as you look up at him.

"Deidara.....What did you tell Sassy about a dick?"

"I can't tell, hmm. I made an oath with Sasori not to tell you."

"If it's going to be like that, open your legs."

"Open my legs, hmm? What fo-Nevermind. A-Aren't you going a bit t-too far just to hear what I told h-him, hmm?"

"You're going to tell me because I'm not going to stop until you do. Also, I don't care if you have the deep urge to cum because if you do, I'll cut your dick off a give it to Sassy."

You grind Deidara with your knee. Deidara close his eyes and bite down on his lip to keep himself from moaning. Displeased, you wrap your arms around Deidara's neck. Pulling yourself up, you wrap your legs around his waist and continue to grind into him.

"[Y/N].....Please. I-I can't hold it in."

"Nope. Not until I get what I want, you get what you want. Like I said before, I'm just going to keep doing this until you talk."

"O-Okay! Okay! My man, Sasori, and I were watching TV when a sex scene came on, hmm. He asked what it was and I told him. When you were gone on a mission, hmm, Sasori was watching porn and started saying stuff like 'I wish had a real stick'. Right before you came back today, he started making new puppets of you and him. He said he was going to get your every curve, which I think he did a great job on. So basically, I didn't say anything. He did it all himself! Can I puh-lease cum now?"

"Sure. Just.....not now. Your pants are going to be soaked."

"I don't care. Get down now. Shit, [Y/N]. You're a real bitch. If you want to fuck some other time, come by my room. I'll be waiting."

"Yeah, don't wait long. I'm not coming."

You get off Deidara and push him out the door. You turn back towards Sasori and see him playing with his puppets. Sighing, you kiss Sasori's lips and smile.

"I don't care if you have a dick or not. I will continue to have my virginity only for you to take."

"[Y/N].....You're going to make me cry."

"You can't cry Sassy."

"I know. That's why I want to cry."

"Aw. Come here and give me a hug."

You hug Sasori and he smiles. He kisses your chest as you hug him tighter.

"I love your titties [Y/N]."

"Shut up Sassy."

* * *

**Tobi/Obito**

"Tobi's a bad boy!"

You let Tobi borrow your computer for a second, and he begins saying he's bad. You sigh as Tobi spreads your legs open and pull your panties off.

"Tobi, what are you doing?"

"[Y/N]-chan! Tobi's a bad boy!"

"Well Tobi better start behaving like a good boy before I tell Obito."

"Obito's a bad boy, too! Tobi and Obito are bad boys!" 

You spin Tobi's mask on your finger and close your legs. Unsatisfied, Tobi pounces on you and pins you to the floor.

"What do you want Tobi?"

"Tobi wants [Y/N]-chan until she becomes a cream pie."

"What? Cream pie? Oh my gosh! You mean..."

"Yep! Tobi watched porn on [Y/N]-chan's computer and the boy said he was going to make a cream pie out of the girl. Now turn around."

"First you get my computer and watch porn and now you're talking about cream pie. No can do. I'll only have sex with Obito, not Tobi."

"[Y/N]...Don't make this hard for both of us and turn your ass around."

"Fine, fine. Don't be so pushy and stay a bad boy for me."

* * *

**Hidan**

"Babe! I need your help!"

Your head lays on Konan's lap as the two of you watch TV. Hidan calls your name rather loudly as he steps in front of the TV. You throw the TV remote at Hidan and sigh.

"I'm going to borrow [Y/N], Konan. You can continue your lesbian clique when she comes back."

"Where are we going? Wait....Lesbian clique? Put me down."

Hidan pulls you off the couch and throws you over his shoulder. He hurries to his room and grab some stuff before rushing out the hideout. Hidan leans you against a tree as he dumps all the stuff he brought.

"A needle, bandage, alcohol, and wipes. What are you doing with a needle? Are you doing my vaccine shot?"

"No. Now stay still. It's going to sting."

"I know. Ouch!"

Hidan sticks the needle in your arm and draw some of your blood. You wince in pain as Hidan takes the needle out and wipe the excess blood before covering it with a bandage. Hidan laughs as he observes your blood.

"Hahahahaha! You will now feel my pain, for you are my next sacrifice!"

"What are you talking about, Hidan?"

"Jashin-sama came to me and said pleasure is now the way to worship him. As my girlfriend, you will be my sacrifice for that pleasure. Don't forget. You decided to become a follower of Jashin-sama, so you must participate in this ritual."

You sigh as Hidan draw his trigram for his ritual on the ground in front of you. He steps in the center of it and licks your blood off the needle, his skin turning a black and white pattern. Hidan soon crouches in front of you and pull his member out his pants.

"What are you doing?"

"If I were to stab my leg and blood drew from it, you would feel the pain in your leg and bleed too. If I were to jack off and cum, you would feel the same pleasure I feel. Now we are going to cum together."

"I can't cum if you c-cu-Ah!"

"S-See? If I do i-it just right, y-your pussy i-is g-going to be so w-wet."

"O-Okay. I get it. J-Just hurry up and cum."

"With pleasure."

"God, I love Jashin-sama!"

* * *

**Kakuzu**

Priceless he says? Kakuzu buys a computer and whatever he uses it for, he calls it priceless. Ever since you started dating Kakuzu, you knew he hate buying expensive things and the computer costed nearly three hundred ryo. You stare endlessly at Kakuzu as he eats his dinner you made for him. Kakuzu stabs his food as your stare makes him uncomfortable.

"What is it [Y/N]?"

"Oh it's nothing. Just wondering how you're still sitting straight."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I put some heavy alcohol and meth and heroin in your food and it's confusing how you're not rocking at all. I knew I should've put some strong sake in there."

"Why would you even?"

"Kakuzu.....What do you use that computer for?"

You tap your fingers on the table as Kakuzu wipes his hand on his napkin.

"Something priceless. It's hard to explain."

"So you're trying to say I let you fuck me for free, and you went to buy an expensive computer to watch some random guy fuck this random girl? Is my pussy not good enough for you?"

"T-T-That's not it! I don't do any of that! I don't understand anything about sex!"

"How could you?! I gave birth to your little tentacle fuck you call a baby and this is the thanks I get?! I can't believe you!"

"Huh?! What baby?"

Kakuzu's face fills with surprise as you suddenly break down in tears. You lay your head on the table and cry in your arm. Kakuzu sighs as he rubs your back.

"I-If you stop crying [Y/N], I promise I'll get rid of the computer. Okay?"

"Really? For me?"

You look up at Kakuzu, mascara streaks running down your cheeks. Kakuzu nods his head as he gets up from the table to throw away his computer. When he's gone, you wipe your eyes and pull something out your pocket before placing it on the table.

"Tear drops, sucker. I can't believe he fell for it."

* * *

**Itachi**

"[Y/N], we have a problem."

You look at Itachi as he walks towards you. The first thing you thought was he needed more nail polish or mascara...you never knew why he needed it. Itachi sits on the ground, beside your special hiding tree in a forest away from the hideout, with his face covered. You try to pull Itachi's hand from his face, but he refuses to move his hand.

"I can't see what's wrong. I need you to uncover your face, love."

"No. You're going to hit me if I do."

"Come on, love. I promise I won't hit you."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay."

Itachi reluctantly pulls his hand down and stares at the ground. You roughly lift up Itachi's chin and stare at his face in disgust. Blood runs from his nose and his eye. You sigh as you begin to clean Itachi.

"Your nose is so bloody. What did you do? Anyways, I told you how using Amaterasu is bad. You already know you're sick, so why would you even use it to make your state worse?"

"It's not Amaterasu, [Y/N]. You see, umm....."

You stare at Itachi as he rub the back of his neck. He place his hands on your shoulder and you see tears falling out his eyes.

"[Y/N], I'm so sorry! I know I shouldn't have, but she was on top of him and all the moaning was making me hot! Then Konan-then Pein.....I don't know how to apologize for this."

"Calm down. What you're saying is Pein and Konan were having sex with their room door cracked open, and you saw them, got a nosebleed and eyebleed, then couldn't find a way for me not to find out, so you told the truth?"

Itachi slowly nods. You pat his head to encourage him, but he gets sadder.

"I'm sorry. I have broken our promise to never look at anyone else. You should just kill me instead of Sasuke. Can you do chidori?"

"I'm not a lighting user. I can perform the Fourth's rasengan!"

"Then kill me with that."

"Okay."

"Wait! I was joking! [Y/N]!"

"Get back here, Itachi! I must punish you for looking at Konan."

"You said you wouldn't get mad!"

* * *

**Kisame**

You stare at Kisame as you flash a bright light in his face. He wasn't paying you any attention and it was time for you to be a detective. Kisame closes his eyes calmly as you flash the light brighter.

"So Hoshigaki.....Why ain't you payin' me any attention? Hmm?!"

"Is this really necessary [Y/N], dear? I have a mission to go on to collect the-."

"Don't you '[Y/N], dear' me! Flattery ain't gonna work with dis bitch. Now why ain't ya payin' me any attention? Is it yer guilt ya tryin' ta hide?"

"G-Guilt? About w-what?"

"I knew it! What did ya do, Hoshigaki?"

"N-Nothing! Absolutely nothi-Ah! That's my.....dick, sweetie."

"Stop usin' yer nice words. It ain't workin', I tell ya."

"[Y/N].....Please. I won't be able to.....fuck if you don't stop."

You stare at Kisame as he winces under pain. You press your foot harder on his crotch and watch as his hands reach your thighs. His nails dig deep, causing blood to draw.

"Please.....It hurts."

"And it hurts ta see ya not payin' me any attention. So why?"

"I don't know.....It was hotter than Ariel."

"Ariel? Ya mean da lil' mermaid?"

"Yes.....It was so pleasurable to watch than a mermaid trying to fuck when she doesn't have a pussy."

"What did ya watch, Hoshigaki?"

"..... I'll tell you if you stopping talking in a Kansai dialect. It's pissing me off."

"I can't one hundred percent promise that, but okay."

"Porn....."

"How could you? I knew you liked to check other girls out, but to see what's under their clothes is just wrong. Itachi! I need to borrow you for a few nights."

"Wait, [Y/N]! You misunderstood. Didn't you used to be a pornstar?"

"Yeah. Why?"

You turn off the light in Kisame's face. He pulls you in his lap and squeezes your ass.

"I was watching your videos. You're the only girl I'll ever look at and touch. The only reason why I wasn't paying you any attention was because I was trying to decide which video I was going to watch next."

"That's so nice of you, Kisame. Case closed.....but I can't keep my thighs. Itachiii!"

"[Y/N]. I'm literally right here."

"Yeah, but Itachi is bigger than you. You wouldn't mind if he got to touch me like you do?"

"Go ahead, [Y/N]. Just tell Itachi to use a condom."

"Okay. You know what? Forget it. Drop your, pants Kisame. We're fucking tonight."

* * *

**Zetsu**

 You balance three carrots on your nose as Zetsu pulls weeds from his garden. It was a hot day and you were glad he didn't wear his plant. Zetsu was always an innocent person, never giving in to evil deeds unless he was eating. Now that you think about, it was weird how Zetsu always gave you carrots, but he never planted any. You look over at Zetsu as you pull off your shirt and spary water from the water hose over yourself.

_"[Y/N], where's your shirt? I don't want you getting a sunburn."_

**"Forget about her shirt. [Y/N], take off your tank top, too."**

"You're such a pervert, Black Zetsu. Anyways, when did you started planting carrots?"

_"I don't."_

**"Don't tell me you want to make some carrot cake? We'll go buy some later."**

You laugh as White and Black Zetsu joke around. You absently bend over and observe Zetsu as he pulls more weeds. A blush covers his face as he ruffles your hair and continue pulling weeds. You blush slightly as the sun glistens over Zetsu's abs then your eyes grow wide.

"Z-Zetsu?"

**"Yes?"**

"Where'd that boner come from?"

**"Boner? Ah!"**

_"Don't look, [Y/N]! It's nothing to see!"_

Zetsu quickly covers your eyes. You hear ruffling and when Zetsu uncovers your eyes, you see him holding out a carrot towards you.

_"P-Please make us a carrot cake. I like it when you feed it to me."_

"O-Okay."

You grab the carrot from Zetsu and sigh. When you rinse it in water and bit into it, you realize it's warm. When Zetsu stands up from his crouching position, you crawl over to him and pull his shorts down. His member stands tall in front of you. Zetsu stands frozen as you grab hold of his member and stroke it.

_"[Y]-[Y/N]....Stop it."_

"Where did the carrot come from?"

 **"A-A place. [Y** **/N], not here. We're outside."**

You feel Zetsu shiver as you slide him in your mouth. Zetsu laces his fingers in your hair and shove himself deeper in your mouth.

**"Ngh.....Here's the deal. I'm a plant so-"**

_"Every time I get a boner, a carrot grows-"_

**"I've on started getting these by accident. Now that we've told you, can you please stop teasing me?"**

"Heh. You're so big, Zetsu. I want more tonight."

_"Okay, babe."_

"[Y/N]~senpai! Zetsu-senpai! Can I-Oh no! Tobi has seen something he wasn't! Tobi must tell someone! Deidara-senpai!"

**"Oh shit....."**

_"This isn't good."_

"We must stop him! Let's go, Zetsu!"

Zetsu quickly pulls his shorts up and follow behind you as you chase after Tobi. When you turn a corner, you see Deidara grinning at you.

"Zetsu and [Y/N].....Who would've guessed you had deep throat?"

"Shut up! I don't have a deep throat! Do I, Zetsu?"

_"It's okay. Let's go inside and eat some fruits. I just picked some from my strawberry bush."_

"Okay! We can feed each other, too!"

**"And remember this Blondie.....Don't mess with my hoe or you'll be my next meal!"**

"Yes sir, Black Zetsu, sir!"

**"Good. Let's go [Y/N]."**

You and Zetsu head back inside the hideout with his arm around your waist. You didn't care if Deidara was looking at you in disgust either because Zetsu made sure he didn't set off any bombs for a while when he did.


End file.
